Awesome story! Thanks for sharing that with us and taking the time and effort to put it out there.
Yes, I recognize several of the feelings, even though I've been out 20 or more years. I got out just about the time you are now. I hated being in the world, because I felt really alone, but at the same time, I "had nowhere else to go" because I didn't want to live my life in a vacuum anymore, on a path of false hope.
I was very unnerved about the actions of some people in the world, but that was because I was so sheltered, and monitored, and "militarized" that I believed that everyone should be acting like they lived in the 1800's! What was my normal, wasn't normal to the majority of people. It took a few years to work out the social interactions, but after awhile it comes naturally.
Good luck to you!
CG